Bits & Pieces for your Ears, Eyes, and Soul
The Clock, Are You My Momager?, Nell Frizzell, I'm Not Yet A Mother But Who Am I?, Leaving the Office at 5 Is Not a Moral Failing, and The Hotel Creative Director on the Power of Supportive Moms
The listicles are making a comeback, and they’ll be arriving in your inbox every fortnight.
Far less wordy and arduous than my essays, I hope you enjoy these bite size recommendations for your ears, eyes, and soul.
For Your Ears
The Clock: If I Had My Time Again – Holly Wainwright
I’m a bit in love with Holly Wainwright. As a writer who has always wanted to be a “real” journalist and who often finds herself nodding along to Holly’s commentary on gender roles, motherhood, and career, she’s kind of my hero.
And as someone that believes that shacking up with a partner and having children is not the only path a human should take in their 30s, I’ve fallen in love with the premise of this podcast – The Clock – too.
The Clock explores and celebrates all the different paths women are taking in their 30s, and in this conversation, Holly reflects on ambition, having children at an age that society deems as later, why she doesn’t regret the relationships of her 20s and 30s (even the less than healthy ones), and how she wasn’t in that maternal hurry until all of a sudden – at 36 or 37 – she was.
Listen to the episode here:
For Your Eyes
Bustle: Are You My Momager?
“Since Alice became a manager over a decade ago, she has frequently struggled with the emotional investment that her direct reports — particularly some of the younger ones — seem to expect from her. “I often wonder whether it’s because I’m a woman, and a Millennial, or both,” she said. “I’ve thought about saying, ‘This is not the time or place to talk about these matters.’ But there’s a risk with that, especially as a woman, of being labeled as an insensitive bitch.”
Conversely, Alice knows that her approachability can be a strength. “I think it made my team loyal to me,” she said. “And they may have been willing to work harder because they felt a personal bond and connection.” Still, it was exhausting to be everyone’s dumping ground. “Especially when I became a mom, dealing with so many emotional dynamics with my team was particularly draining,” she said.
“On some days, I felt like I had a toddler at home, and eight more at work.”
This is a fascinating look at the way so many Millennial managers – many who are also mothers – are bearing the brunt of their colleagues’ emotions on top of navigating family and career. And while empathy is an important quality in a leader, that extra emotional work has a cost, with a 2022 report by McKinsey finding that female leaders “are doing more to support employee well-being but face higher stress levels as a result.”
Read the piece here
A Reading Frenzy with Nell Frizzell
If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll know I’ve been banging on about Nell Frizzell’s podcast and my ambition to finally read her book The Panic Years for some time now.
Well, I have finally put my money where my mouth is and have purchase three of her books: The Panic Years, Holding the Baby, and Square One. I’ve no doubt these books will delight and excite me, and I look forward to sharing a review soon.
But not too soon because, well, things have slowed down since my son came along. The baby in my tummy isn’t helping my pace, either.
Katie Couric Media: I’m Not A Mother, But Who Am I?
“One of the first times I was told I was already a mom was about 10 failed artificial reproductive technology cycles into my 2-year-long infertility journey. “Look how much you’ve done for your child already — the lengths you’ve gone to, just to become a parent. You already are a mother,” my reproductive endocrinologist said, when he saw I was struggling. But the label “mother” didn’t feel like it fit.
In fact, it was around this time that I felt farthest away from motherhood. The path ahead of me started to look more endless and winding than ever. With so many failures behind me and a depreciating ovarian reserve, I had no reason to believe I’d get pregnant anytime soon. Surely this wasn’t motherhood.”
This is a beautiful and important piece on straddling two worlds at once: trying desperately to become but not yet feeling like a mother.
Read the piece here.
New York Times: Leaving the Office at 5 Is Not a Moral Failing
“We have allowed chief executives of enormous corporations to frame the entire conversation around what makes a “good” employee. In their estimation, it’s “morally wrong” (Elon Musk) to work from home, because a good employee is one who wants to “hustle” (Jamie Dimon), working long hours in the office every single day. Joan Williams, the chair and director of the Center for WorkLife Law, has called this the “ideal worker” norm — a set of beliefs that assumes labor will be performed by full-time employees with no caregiving responsibilities or life outside work, continuously, for 40 years.”
I adore the words of Jessica Grose, and this piece was no different. This is a great read for those trying to navigate doing their best at work and at home, and makes a great case for doing your job – and this almost feels silly to write – in the hours you’re PAID to do it.
Vogue: The Coolest Hotel Creative Director on Supportive Moms and Work-Life Balance
“My biggest life saving mom tools are other moms. Ever since I have had Grace, these women have been the most supportive, helpful, and understanding people I know. Other moms have helped me with everything. We all know the joy and struggle of motherhood, and the bond is immeasurable.”
I have been swooning over images of Palm Heights Hotel and Garden Spa for some time now. Located in the Cayman Islands, it’s a place that’s so otherworldly in its beauty that it doesn’t seem real. It feels like a place I’ll never get to. Let me correct that: it’s a place I know I will never (be able to afford to) get to, so the hotel and its creative director Gabriella Khalil seem otherworldly to me.
That’s why I loved reading her interview on what she learned from her own mother, how her priorities have shifted, and how she makes work, work with Vogue.
And while her life may be a little more lavish than most of ours (see her Manhattan apartment here), she practically howled when she was asked if she cooked (she doesn’t), and that just felt like a great moment for mothers everywhere.
For Your Soul
And if you’re having one of those days where you feel like you’re just a mum, might I remind you that — whether you’re breastfeeding or just had a day of keeping a young human alive — you’re really pretty bloody good as you are?